Hunchback

SUMMARY

Hunchback is what happens when delusion meets ambition in a trailer park mirror. Once just the local freak with a permanent curve and a questionable stare, he tried to escape the gutter by chasing the Hollywood spotlight — and instead ran face-first into his own twisted legacy.

He’s a walking contradiction: a sexual misfire with dreams of stardom. A man who never blinked before humping a mailbox, but still cried when Simon Cowell said no. He’s been laughed out of LA, arrested in four counties, and now sings nightly in Cellblock C to a rat named Clarence.

Where Earl is the prophet, Hunchback is the martyr — the failed disciple of filth, the icon of unfiltered desperation. He’s disgusting. He’s damaged. But he’s unforgettable.

“The Crooked Prince of Concrete and Cum.”

Mike Moonshine Universe Character Lore

PERSONALITY

DELUSIONAL VISIONARY

Thinks he’s an artist. The world thinks he’s a biological accident with crayons.

PUBLICLY DERANGED

Flashes, humps, screams, licks — and that’s before lunch.

MORALLY BANKRUPT

Believes consent is just a complicated look.

INEXPLICABLY CHARMING

Guards hate him. Rats love him. One time, a judge clapped.

STORY

They say he once painted with ketchup on a gas station wall and screamed “I am Banksy’s hump!”

He meant it.

Born with a curve in his spine and none in his judgement, Hunchback didn’t want to stay in the shadows like the rest of his kin. He wanted lights, cameras, and ass. So he packed a thong, a half-used bottle of lube, and took a Greyhound to LA.

What followed wasn’t stardom — it was chaos. He got thrown out of a Subway for singing into a pickle. He tried to hump a goat behind a weed dispensary. He got a tattoo of himself on his own ass that said “STAY BENT.”

When Hollywood spat him back out, he returned home, cream-covered and hope-broken. He flashed his junk at Granny Jill. He tried to hump a mop in jail. He drew buttholes in Bibles and gave sermons in squeals.

Now?

He’s the unchallenged king of Cellblock Night. He sings to rats, jerks off to moonlight, and draws genitals in macaroni. His dreams didn’t die. They just got a criminal record.

“He didn’t get famous. He got institutionalized. But hell — that’s fame in reverse.”

– Mike Moonshine

CANONICAL SONG APPEARANCES

- Hunchback Goes to Hollywood

- Hunchback’s Back (But Now He’s Locked Up)